Surgery June 8th. Find me on Facebook if you want to know what's going on. There's just too much health shit and it's all too hard to keep track of. This is the cancer thing though.
Hey guys. So those of you who have friends or belong to communities that would be into this stuff (I think the hats are great for everyone, and the tails have a more limited consumer base) should totally post links to my friend Brenna's Etsy shop - it's brand new as of this past weekend, and she also does custom orders. She is a super cool fantastical person that you would totally like (just read her profile), and she makes really cool stuff. The hats are well-made and cute and fuzzy and warm and cover your ears nicely, and the tails are kind of amazing - I have no idea how she does it, but some are UV-reactive and all of them glow and some of them can switch between being just on and a sound-reactive mode so that they pulse along with music (as well as off, obviously). I tried one out on Saturday and bought one hat - am getting another one as soon as I settle on colors. Anyway, I just want to try to spread this around because it's brand new and she really deserves to have kick-ass things in her life. If any of you have similar projects going on, I will try to talk everyone into spreading those around, too. :)
I was planning on trying to play frisbee tomorrow (read: later today, Saturday), but they closed all the above ground metro stations, so if anyone lives near me (which I don't think you do) in Alexandria, then: tomorrow (today), GW Middle school fields, snowball fight, noonish - 1005 Mount Vernon Avenue. If you know anyone in Alexandria, email this to them, or post it on Facebook, or on your LJ - there's a whole 10 hours left to convince strangers that this is a worthwhile endeavor. I got some replies so I'm hoping something fun unfolds, but if not I'm still going to spend some time outside while we have some actual snow. Just hoping I wake up early enough to locate warm clothes.
And with that, I will go to bed. Wish me luck - I need some fun and some release.
Everything in my life that was going extremely badly and causing me untold amounts of stress keeps getting worse.
Well, the stuff I'm not posting here because I'm too lazy to set up a new filter is worse, or still bad, or I know more about it and that makes it worse, plus it isn't resolving, which is bad and means the stress will not go away, I guess.
The stuff that I have talked about here is probably about the same? I don't know. All of my problems are combining to the point that I have a hard time pulling anything apart in order to discuss it alone anymore.
Anyway, a new huge motherfucking problem cropped up, and I am really upset about that, but have become calm very quickly, not because I might not be totally fucking screwed, but as far as I can tell, because there is only so much of the time that you can be in heightened emotional states, and I am way past my limit.
My sister was so stressed last week from various things that she actually got vertigo. She couldn't drive and had to stay home sick from work. I do not have vertigo, but Sven's cousin is staying with us and I am currently holed up in our bedroom with no explanation because I couldn't deal with being upset in front of him and I needed a break from acting normal.
Normally social interaction is what helps me when I'm stressed or upset. I don't really know what to do with this except I think I'm going to lie down for a little while.
Seriously, can't even express it. Mostly due to inability to explain, but even if I could describe every single thing going on in my life I still couldn't explain properly, I would only rant and most of it would make no sense, so I'm in about the same place.
And yeah, if I were not me, and I were reading this shit, I would think I were overreacting, if you follow, but I'm not, I'm just in a bad situation with bad options and limited coping strategies.
Anyway the Leland Center is going to be renamed after my mom which is lovely and nice and passed and should have been the biggest thing going on with me this week, or fuck, even this month.
Fuck it all.
So all of the stuff I just posted about? Yeah, my sister knew about it, didn't tell me, discussed it with a family friend, discussed it with dad, did ALL of that - never bothered to talk to me. Claims dad didn't tell me because he and I haven't been getting along, fails to explain why she didn't tell me, and then tells me the only solution is for me to magically get all of my stuff out of the house (which is incredibly difficult for more reasons than I can explain) and sell the house (in the crappiest market this country has seen in years - and yes the bad market does impact the area where my mom's house is, even though everyone has this delusion that it doesn't.
I posted this as a reply in another LJ, but I might as well out myself as being completely nuts here and explain why I believe that either Sarah Palin's 5th kid Trig is actually her older daughter Bristol's first child, or there is some huge piece of information that we are not getting, which might be as simple as that Palin is completely irresponsible with the health of her own children and has no judgment.
While an individual woman Sarah Palin's age is 36 times more likely to have a kid with Down's than someone Bristol's age, many more kids with Down's are both to teenagers than people S.Palin's age because of the much higher pregnancy rate in the former group, so that logic doesn't really work - you could say that a pregnant Sarah was more likely to have a kid with Down's than a pregnant Bristol, but if we don't know that either of them is pregnant, you can just as easily say that statistically Bristol is a lot more likely to be pregnant with a kid with Down's than Sarah, since she's so much more likely to be pregnant in the first place. Although that was what kept me from buying into this stuff before I read a lot more about it all.
Here's the deal:
Palin announced her daughter's pregnancy in order to dispel the rumors that Trig is actually Bristol's kid. She could have simply released a birth certificate and/or the standard hospital room shot of Palin in the hospital bed holding Trig, maybe with Bristol and the other kids gathered around her. Instead she basically threw her daughter under the bus when they could have waited, then announced Bristol's engagement, then announced the pregnancy, and people wouldn't have flipped out nearly so much, plus the RNC would have been over and she wouldn't have been distracting attention from that.
Sarah Palin announced her pregnancy at 7 months. I have seen no photos of her from earlier than that that made her look pregnant or slightly pregnant. I have seen a photo of Bristol from before that with what looks like it could be a baby bump.
Palin traveled to Dallas at 36 weeks. Why would she do this? Mothers are not generally advised to travel all that much so close to their due dates.
If Palin were pregnant, the kid would have been screened for things like Down's because of her age, so they would have known the kid had Down's. This is only relevant because it's a potential complicating factor and something she would or should have taken into account in her decision making process when:
She's in Dallas, her water breaks. Instead of going to a hospital there, which I think is the only logical response, she gets on a plane (which is directly against Alaska Airline's policies, incidentally), thus risking infection (leaking fluids) which would be dangerous for her and for the kid and also risks her giving birth in midair. She flies to Seattle then changes planes to fly to Alaska. Total flight time is 10-12 hours - a lot more time than anyone I know would feel comfortable assuming a kid wasn't going to be born in. She then gets off the plane in Alaska, and there's a hospital 15 minutes away. Her OB-Gyn is on the staff of that hospital and it has a NICU. She does not go to that hospital. She gets driven 45 minutes to a hospital with no NICU to deliver her premature child. It is delivered by a family practitioner who is no longer listed on the hospital's website even though he was there a few days ago. Palin put him on the Governors state health committee. The birth was not listed in the hospital's website's birth announcements.
There are photographs that appear to be pictures of Levi's sister (allegedly from her MySpace - cached versions obviously, since all this stuff got taken down) with Trig as a newborn. One picture of Mercedes and Trig, one of her with Trig and Bristol, one with her and Trig and Sarah. Why would Sarah's daughter's boyfriend's sister have a bunch of pictures of her with Trig? She would have pictures if he were her brother's first kid, not so much if it were her brother's girlfriend's brother. Also, the labels on the pictures: she describes Trig as her "little brother," Sarah Palin as "Mommy in Law," and captions the one with her and Bristol and Trig as "Family Love."
Bristol missed 5 months of school last year, allegedly due to mono, although the principal and assistant principal were also quoted in local Alaska newspapers as saying she'd transferred to a school in Anchorage unexpectedly after Christmas break.
This could all be cleared up really really easily, like I said. The problem is, if she wasn't covering up her daughter's first pregnancy, then she risked her unborn child's life in a series of horrible decisions that raise huge questions about her judgment.
I really have nothing to say, but eh well.
( Entirely pointless frisbee nonsense.Collapse )
I woke up horrified this morning at about 5:50 from a completely innocent dream. It took me a couple of minutes to realize why - my mom was in it. She is a lot, but I think I forgot about everything for a second, and it just left me almost sick. Finally fell back asleep, but it took a bit.
Sven left town a little while ago. He'll be back in a couple of days, but it still sucks. Yes, I am pathetic and hate living alone even briefly. With any luck I'll never have to get used to it.
I'm tense beyond belief today. I had the equivalent of a cup of coffee early in my game, and it was just a huge mistake. I'm not doing that again until the tournament next weekend. Just can't handle it. Which by the way is kind of pathetic.
Maybe I'll make some chamomile and mix it with warm milk tonight. That might calm me down, right?
Miso cornered Bastet, probably by accident, a little while ago, and she yelled so loud it sounded like someone was trying to kill her. I don't feel like I've been paying enough attention to any of the cats lately. Also she threw up, probably because I gave her a little bit of wet food with prozac yesterday - neither of which she's had in a while. They mostly only eat Felidae dry food, which seems much much easier on their systems than anything they've eaten before - we used to easily have one cat or the other throwing up every week, and now we have and extra cat and it's pretty rare for anyone to be sick. As you can imagine, this is a very positive development.
I need to do about a million things this week that I don't want to do. I will probably do maybe five. I suck. I can't even begin to go into it, though, because if I get that tense at this hour I won't sleep until absurdly late.
Probably going to go read now. Possibly also going to make tea. Yay me.
I just typed this out as a reply to Jenny in my other post, and it was too long, so I'm posting it here, because I need to vent, and I know at least one or two other people who read this and play frisbee and will understand.
I'm marginally better now, except that some stuff happened at our second frisbee game that really left me pissed off. Basically our second team had three people there at 2. The people we'd just played were willing to hang around to scrimage, so we asked if they had other people coming. They said they hoped so, didn't seem to know. We said we'd wait about ten minutes to see if they were going to have a team. They still didn't, but refused to forfeit & scrimage. They said we could assess a point every ten minutes but that they wanted to start playing right away (we had just finished a game with only one sub), so we should scrimage until 2:30, at which point if they had enough people we could assess three points and start playing. Our captain, who really doesn't know ultimate rules, has never played in wafc before, and hasn't shown up or done anything he's responsible for as captain in a couple of weeks (he wasn't even there for the first half of our first game), agreed at 2:25 or later that we could start playing and we'd start two points up. They had 6 guys and one woman - so still no full team. It's weekend league and friendly, so we said okay, but we did mention that we had two women, and they said if we wanted to play 5-2 they were willing to play with only 6 on the field. We started out scoring well, but since most of our team has gone AWOL, we had two guys who'd literally never played before playing with us, and the other team started scoring and pulled ahead to 8-6 at the half. We were still tired from our previous game, and frustrated because we'd lost it because of a lack of subs (we've beaten both these teams before easily), so our playing suffered, they ended up doing pretty well. During one point, their woman, who I was covering, got open several times, including in the end zone, and finally just walked off the field and said "When you're willing to pass to me, I'll come back on the field." She was completely right, and they ignored her - didn't call a time, which they had, to work things out, didn't apologize to her, just kept playing with 6 guys. At the end of the point, when they didn't talk to her and work things out, she packed up and left. At this point, they had 7 men and no women, and our captain basically refused to let us play 5-2 all game (meaning the women were getting about 50% play time, and the guys about 90% - and the woman on our team who wasn't me is very good, much better than the two guys who'd never played before). Since it's a coed league, I was pretty angry, especially since we'd done them a lot of favors throughout the game so that they could play, so I said that if they were going to have no women, they should only be playing with 5 men on the field, because they didn't have a legal team, and the reason they had no women wasn't because of bad luck, it was because they pissed off their one woman so much that she left, and they didn't try to stop her. I had to argue with my captain over this, though several of the guys on my team agreed, and when we finally did it, of course the other team got completely pissed off. They won anyway, since they had 13 points when she left, and they clearly should have forfeited, but regardless, I'm mostly pissed off because I didn't get to talk to them and explain to them why we were doing it - that it had nothing to do with trying to win, that we'd done them lots of favors, that it's a coed league and you have to have women to play. I'm still completely pissed off that there's no one I can talk to about this, because I'm used to getting less playtime if the other team doesn't have enough women, and I'm used to guys who won't pass to me when I'm open because they assume I suck (I was also better than about half our team in the first game, explaining things to people, and was at least better than the two guys who didn't know what was going on and kept throwing the disc away in the second game), and given that WAFC's coed policy is the only reason I play ultimate in the first place, I think it's actually important to respect it and accept that you are playing in a coed league. I don't think it's remotely okay to have your only female player leave because you had no respect for her in the first place and think that means you get to continue playing. I think it's even less okay to do that and then act like jackasses when the team you're playing against doesn't want to let you keep playing like nothing happened. Some people on their team were perfectly nice, but one guy in particular, the one who we initially dealt with who wanted to get to play but not to have to forfeit despite not having a team until a half an hour after gametime (they never had two women, so they actually never had a legal coed team). I might sound kind of bitchy about this, but the first team I ever played on was full of guys who were kind of sexist jerks, only let the women play if the team we were playing against had women in, assumed all their women were worse than all their guys, etc. So maybe I'd be less sensitive to it if I'd had better early experiences, but even on teams where most of the guys are completely reasonable and don't pay attention to gender when they throw, you still regularly get guys who won't pass to open women, and I've only seen a few teams that had enough assertive women that they ever got called on it.
I hate being pissed off and not being able to communicate with the person who pissed me off - I was being perfectly nice and very retrained, but I was really fucking pissed.
The second MRI said no brain damage, he was probably lacking oxygen under 2 minutes, there was fluid in his lungs but that situation has improved dramatically, so it's looking like as good an outcome as we could have hoped for. Much relief.
I'm still sick but mostly in a low key ick sort of way. Lots of coughing.
My frisbee team lost our first game in the second round of end-of-season tournament yesterday. Oh well.
Sven is out of town all week which is sucky but I suppose I will survive somehow. I'm just worried I infected him. Can't think of anything worse than being sick while out of town for work. Probably if I had he would have gotten sick at around the same time i did though. I should at least limit my worrying to things that are actually going on.
Dru is asleep in bed with me. She is half upside down and it is ridiculous. She and Miso are actually getting along very well these days and the other day I caught all the cats within about three feet of one another in the sunroom. Bastet needs more grooming and more attention but she comes and finds us when it's been too long. Sadly Sven is much better at keeping on top of her mats than I am. I should just get her shaved professionally but I am resistant for various reasons.
My mom's brother woke up, recognized people, and was able to respond to whatever basic commands the doctor gave him, so now it's just going to be a question of how long his brain was without oxygen. Still scary, but much much better than it sounded two days ago.